Eating out on a diet without being a martyr.

Thursday night, third work dinner of the week. The waiter is hovering, the menu is open and it's the same old question: what to order at a restaurant when you're on a diet. Everyone else is ordering starters, mains and a bottle.

It usually goes one of two ways. You order an undressed salad and eye other people's plates all evening, or you write the week off. There's a third way, and nobody at the table notices.

Can you eat out when you're on a diet?

Yes. A way of eating that only works at home won't last with a life like yours. When you're out, the order you eat in and your first few choices count more than any single dish.

Where it really goes wrong

How hungry you turn up. You skipped lunch to keep things light and sit down at half seven ravenous. Feeling full takes about twenty minutes from the first mouthful. In that time, at that speed, a lot goes down.

Bread and wine on an empty stomach. Bread hits your blood as sugar in one go, and alcohol starts being absorbed in the stomach itself. Both arrive with nothing to slow them down.

What you can't see. The more elaborate the dish, the less you know what's in it. A level spoonful of oil and a heaped one are very different, and no chef is measuring. Even experts misjudge by eye.

What to order, place by place

• At a work dinner. Order a vegetable starter or side salad straight away, so it lands before the bread. Then grilled fish or meat with greens. Pasta or chips? Share a portion and have it last.
• At a Japanese restaurant. White rice raises blood sugar more than pasta, so a platter of rolls is less light than it looks. Start with edamame or seaweed, then sashimi or tataki, and finish with a few pieces of sushi.
• At a buffet. Faced with that much food, we all eat too much: your eyes order before your stomach. Walk round once without a plate, then fill one plate, vegetables and protein first, and sit well away from the buffet.
• With a takeaway. Order before you're hungry and keep it simple: a protein, a vegetable, a carb you recognise. Save your best order at your two usual places. On a tired night, just tap that.

Vegetables, then protein, carbs last. Fibre gets there first and slows everything behind it, so the same meal in that order raises blood sugar far less. Dress your salad with oil and vinegar, which helps keep the spike lower. Skip the balsamic: it's full of sugar. And pudding, if you fancy it, at the end and shared.

Wine with your food. One glass, at the table, after the first few mouthfuls. The drink you have standing up, on an empty stomach, costs you the most: it hits fast and brings bread and nibbles with it.

Put your fork down. People talk at dinner, so join in. Eat slowly and you'll feel full on less, without missing out.

At your next dinner, pick just one of these and notice how you feel leaving the table, and how you wake up the next day. Add the others once this one takes no effort.